Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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