I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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