Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
