I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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