Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
