i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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