I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
