i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
