I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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