I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
