my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
