Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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