Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
