is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
