While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
