I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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