Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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