Apparently you make a good broom.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
