Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
