I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
