Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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