I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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