pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
