i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
