I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
