Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
