I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
