I cut my penus on the lid.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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