Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
