Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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