You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
