awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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