I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
