I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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