He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
