Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she smelled like a LAN party
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
