so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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