I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
