I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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