But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
