New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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