I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
