what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
