No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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