I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
