i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
