What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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