this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
