I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
