Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
