how can u be prego again
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And then my night got REAL pukey
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
